Time Sure Flies When You're Having Fun

Time really does fly when you're busy! I'm not doing so well at keeping this blog updated. I've been busy and outside of a few awesome events, I live a boringly great life. That being said, I can't believe we're almost two months into 2015 already. It seems like so much has happened in the past several months.

I started dating someone. That's been fun.

Mom came out to visit for Thanksgiving!

I passed candidacy which was one of the most terrible and rewarding thing I've done in my academic career so far. That's including my Master's defense. But Woo! I passed!

Christmas and New Years has come and gone.

I had to have my tonsils removed as a 28 year old. That is probably one of the worst things I've ever had done.

I've been snowed in or wind chilled in several times. Thank you, Chicago winter.

The nephews came to visit for Valentine's Day!

I finally got to meet Brandon Sanderson and he signed all of my books!

I'm sure a lot more has happened, but it seems like I've had a lot of quiet time since Christmas. Some of that is thanks to me being perpetually sick for most of the month of January and having my tonsils removed the first week of February. Let's just say I've had enough quiet time that I've been able to easily keep up on my required reading for school/work as well as read 30 books for pleasure.

Other than the being sick part, it's been nice. Now that I'm done with candidacy, I get to be a normal person when I get off work and I have this wonderful thing known as free time. Hence all of the reading. It helps balance out the science and it keeps me sane. Books complete me in a way that TV and movies will never be able to. Which is good because I've learned that I've gotten terrible at keeping up with tv shows and movies lately. And oddly enough, I'm okay with that. Bring on all the books!

I'm still book blogging and it has been amazing! I've read SO many great books and have met so many awesome people to talk books with. Outside of blogging, I joined a book club that some of the post docs go to. It's been fun and has gotten me to read several books that I probably wouldn't have picked up on my own.

As I said, I live a rather boring life, but I love it! I love the science and the books and just everything about it. I love living in the Chicago area and I need to take more advantage of that outside of taking everyone who comes to visit out for deep dish pizza.

I'm going to try harder to keep this blog updated. My goal is to post at least once a week. Some weeks will be easier than others. There's a lot of stuff going on this year. I'm already lined up to go to several conferences and apparently this year is my ten year high school reunion. I can't believe it's been ten years! Honestly, I don't think I'm going to make it to the actual reunion because I'm pretty sure I have a conference that same weekend, but it's an important milestone nonetheless.

So while I hope that I have fun things to share about life, there will be weeks where the most exciting thing is a new author or band I discovered or how I've finally perfected cooking a certain food. I'm going to write about things that are of interest to me. Blogging is as close to journaling as I'm ever going to get and I'm okay with that. So here's to my goal to keep up with it. This is going to be fun.

Be Still

Hello Blog,

It's been a while.

I've discovered something about myself over the past six months. I don't know how to be still. My life is so busy that I hardly take time to reflect on life or the gospel. Being busy the last couple of months has proven to be a blessing and has helped me not completely agonize over how different life is now.

Sure, I'm still working on my PhD and reading every book I can get my hands on in my down time, but things are not the same. We lost Dad three months ago and it's been hard. Like hard hard. I never knew that the tiniest things would have the power to make me break down and cry. Biscuits and gravy are still good even with the side of tears, right? I miss Dad terribly and I wish he could have spent twenty more years with us.

Even though he's not with us physically, I know he's watching over us and participating in the small moments of victory in our lives. But it's different. After three months, I still find myself going to call him to tell him all of my exciting news and to tell him about some new recipe I tried that I think he'd like. I miss him calling me early in the morning just to see if he could wake me up and to check in and see how I was doing. He woke me up several times but dang if I was going to let him know that. Well, I'm sure he knew. I'm not exactly the sharpest when I first wake up.

As much as I miss him, the grief is getting easier to deal with. I still have bad days but they are fewer and farther between. I'm never going to ever stop missing him. And I like to think that him and Great Alice are getting into all sorts of shenanigans being together again on the other side. Hopefully, Grandpa Ed is keeping them in line.

Grief is so much easier to deal with when you're busy. I've never been one to sit still, but I've become even less so recently. Don't get me wrong. I love my life that is 70 hour work weeks full of science, church, reading, and book blogging. It may sound hectic and some weeks it is, but it's my life and I love it. But as much as I love it, something was missing and I didn't even realize it.

I was so busy trying to stay busy so I could deal with my grief and not slack in my responsibilities at work that some of the small things I found joy in were dropped to accommodate my busyness. I didn't know I was missing them until the Lord forced me to finally be still.

Many people don't know that I've developed a severe allergy to all things pineapple. I think it's been a rougher adjustment than being diagnosed with diabetes. They put pineapple juice in everything! I've had to become one of those people that read the labels on every juice bottle in the grocery store. It's sad but you have to adapt to your circumstances. But with everything there are just some scenarios that you can't avoid. Last week, I had the misfortune of getting a slice of pizza that had been contaminated with pineapple juice. Thank heavens for epi pens and antihistamines and good medical facilities.

I'm fine but thanks to a slice of free pizza, I was forced to be still. I had to be under observation for several hours which gave me the opportunity to reflect on the last few months. I realized that it's been a month and a half since I've read my scriptures for something other than preparing for lessons. I've put aside going to the gym and eating healthy in order to eat my feelings. I hadn't bought a new cd in over eight months. That's not normal for me. Aside for going out for dinner, I don't do anything spontaneous and touristy in my new city. I still haven't been to the art museum or the planetarium.

So this post is a reminder to myself. A reminder to cut back the amount of hours I'm working, to have more spontaneous dance parties in my living room, to belt out my favorite songs even with headphones on, and to take more time to take care of myself. Pushing back graduation by six month will not kill me, and will probably be better for everyone involved. I promise that I'm going to read my scriptures every day and try to keep up with my temple attendance. I'm going to go back to the gym so I can be healthier. I'm going to be more involved with my ward and make more friends outside of work. I'm going to start watching more movies and marathon a couple TV shows on Netflix. I'm going to spend time outside even if it's just sitting on my balcony. I'm going to stop feeling guilty when I do something not work related. I'm going to be better at keeping in touch with family and friends because we never know how long they'll be there. Overall, I promise to let myself be happy.

I'm going to need multiple reminders. Some of these things I can't fix overnight and I'm sure I'm still missing some things. I'm going to try though. I'm going to learn to be more still. I'm going to be less workaholic and more me. It's several small things but they suddenly feel like the big things. Wish me luck.

100 Happy Days: Day 10

Cupcakes always make a Friday 100% better no matter what's going on! Bonus, I got to try the bakery that is within walking distance of my house. It's usually closed when I get off work. It was worth the wait because the cupcake was delicious!

100 Happy Days: Day 9

Guys! Meet Gammasphere! This is one of the instruments I'm using to do my PhD dissertation research. I think he's beautiful! Complicated but pretty. I really enjoy working with Gammasphere every day. Now, if we could get his kid sister, GRETINA, to cooperate we'd be set.

100 Happy Days: Day 8

Every three months, I order healthy snacks from nuts.com. They sell chocolate covered toffee pretzels which are the best thing ever! Okay, the pretzels aren't as healthy as they could be but they're delicious! I also ordered some of their dried fruit. The dried strawberries are like candy but healthy! They are so good! It's always a good day when I get my quarterly box!

100 Happy Days: Day 7

Tuesday is when all of the new book releases come out. This week the last book in the Paradox Trilogy came out! I'm so excited for this book! I read the first book, Fortune's Pawn, over Christmas break and I loves it! It reminded me of why I fell in love with science fiction novels in my teen years. I plan on starting this on my night shift tonight. I can't wait to see how Rachel Bach wraps this trilogy up!

100 Happy Days: Day 6

Nothing makes me happier than Mexican food! I love trying new salsas and recipes! Today was a test run of a new recipe for pico de gallo and it may be my new favorite thing! I couldn't quit eating it plain with just a spoon. Although I'm pretty sure I'm pre-disposed to love any combination of cilantro, lime juice, tomato, and jalepeno. Too bad my tacos had to wait to be eaten because I got called back into work for a few hours. Totally worth the wait though!